对不起,不,我不会写一篇争论说Dan Lyons是一个傻瓜

所以我接到了来自我的Payola代表的另一个电话,她就像是,“嘿,非常感谢周末所有与天线有关的链接我只是想让你知道我们多么欣赏它,约翰。“他们用你的名字点缀了很多句子。书中最古老的技巧,但它确实有效,即使你已经意识到了这一点认真地无论如何,我都喜欢,“没问题,这是我的荣幸你只是保持这些检查。“笑到处都是。

但后来她变得严肃起来,并表示,如果我用“本周的驴子”作品回应Dan Lyons的Antennagate故事,那么苹果公司将值得我这么做。So I say, “Who’d he write that for? I didn’t see anything on the Fake Steve blog about it.”

她说,“新闻周刊,当然。”

“我以为他们几个月前就破产了。”

“不,他们还在我发誓。”

她发给我链接里昂的作品,“Apple的烂响应“,从这样开始:

我想知道恐慌是否已经开始在Apple开始了If not, it shouldBecause today’s hastily called news conference — ostensibly to discuss problems with iPhone 4 and how Apple intends to fix them — only did further damage to Apple’s reputation.

这是一种礼貌的开始方式,因为,好吧,我们都知道苹果公司的每个人对公司的前景感到多么恐慌(你会惊讶于上周活动中有多少高级副总裁酗酒,而且只有上午10点神经磨损了。)里昂很乐意将其作为一个问题。

So what should Apple be panicked about? Lyons’s thesis is that Steve Jobs has lost touch with reality, and the world is waking up to this在这种情况下,iPhone 4天线出现了严重错误,史蒂夫乔布斯不会承认:

一些人预计苹果可能会宣布召回这款手机Others speculated it might announce some kind of software update that would improve reception problemsInstead, Apple CEO Steve Jobs came up with a two-part solutionPart 1: There is no problem. Part 2: Even though there is no problem, we’re going to give everyone a free case, which should insulate the antenna and prevent the interference that we just told you isn’t actually occurring.

我在新闻发布会上回顾了我的笔记,寻找乔布斯说没有问题的部分我认为这是在13:00左右视频流乔布斯说,“所以iPhone天线经历了这一切我们测试了它我们知道如果你以某种方式抓住它,那么这些酒吧就会像每部智能手机一样下降We didn’t think it’d be a big problem, because every smartphone has this issue.” Or maybe it was a little later, toward the end, when Jobs said “A lot of people have told us, the bumper solves the signal strength problem,” where he claimed there was “no problem”.

所以,里昂总结道:

这是Apple的经典行为No matter what the whole world can see with its own eyes, just keep saying that it isn’t true, and maybe, eventually, everyone will believe youBy refusing to acknowledge the problem, Jobs just reinforced the image of Apple as a company that is in deep denial and unable to admit a mistake — a company that has for so long been able to bend reality to suit its needs that it now has lost touch with reality itself.

我向我的payola代表大声朗读了这段话,告诉她这正是我不愿意批评里昂的报道的原因。苹果真的应该承认现实当然,他们正在发放免费案例,因为 - 用乔布斯的话说 - “很多人告诉我们,保险杠解决了信号强度问题”当然,乔布斯说苹果“知道如果你以某种方式抓住它,那么这些酒吧会有点下降”当然,绝大多数iPhone 4用户似乎很高兴但是今年iPhone 4天线的确认在哪里伊什塔尔? Where’s the product recall? Where’s the “KICK ME” sign on Steve Jobs’s black shirt? Why does Bob Mansfield still have a job?

Jobs also said all other mobile phones suffer the same problems when you hold them in certain ways, and that “it’s a challenge to the entire industry.”

这是荒谬的这太荒谬了But that’s nothing new. Apple has a history of making ridiculous claims and having them accepted by an adoring fan base and worshipful press.

这是令人不安的事实最后一个诚实的人是Dan Lyons。来自Apple的那些视频showing other phones dropping bars? Fake该类似的视频在YouTube上来自业主of competing phones? Fake接下来苹果公司将告诉我们,Droid X有一个片状展示

With the launch of iPhone 4, for example, Apple pretended it had invented video chat — something that has been around elsewhere for years.

里昂没有说出每天所有人都在视频聊天的电话,因为他不需要只需环顾四周,亲眼看看。

这里真正的问题是如何感知产品If you need to put a rubber case on a phone to make it work correctly, there must be something wrong with it, don’t you think?

究竟我的意思是,如果真相如此,在实践中,iPhone 4的工作正常大多数人的情况 - 它的下载和上传速度更快,语音通话质量比3GS有所改善 - 嗯,这完全是一个不同的故事。

乔布斯显然没有他似乎对抱怨的客户表示鄙视。

它没有出现在视频中,但当谈到0.55%的iPhone 4用户称苹果公司抱怨它的接收时,乔布斯的口中出现了唾沫。他似乎对他们的胆子非常不满。

Toward the end of the news conference, he blamed the media for blowing the problem out of proportion.

苹果公司的竞争对手将有一个实地日。

是的,一周之后,对于苹果公司的竞争对手来说,这看起来确实是个好消息Apple的鹅煮熟了,里昂知道得分People are going to look back at this piece a year from now and say, “By god, Dan Lyons saw it all along.” (Seriously: bookmark it.) It’s bad enough that I don’t have the courage to call Apple out on this blatant chicanery; the last thing I’m going to do is put my name on the line and argue that he’s a big dummy with a chip on his shoulder and that his work exemplifies the state新闻周刊在

“You’re sure you won’t do it? We really think you could knock it out of the park,” my payola rep pleads.

“抱歉不会碰它。“